Golden Globes: pick of the gowns

So it's awards season in Hollywood. I love awards season for two reasons: the men in tuxes (especially George Clooney and Colin Firth - om nom nom) and the girls in amazing couture gowns. 

In terms of the boys, this year is clearly going to be all about Colin Firth. He is looking eye wateringly gorgeous, and is also seemingly going to win everything he's nominated for. About damn time, I say.

What about the girls? Well in terms of the actual awards it appears the smart money is on Natalie Portman. But I have only limited interest in that. The only award I'm really interested is who walks away as best dressed. So who took first blood at this weekend's Golden Globes?

For me, it was all about Mila Kunis in gorgeous emerald Vera Wang. Everything about this dress is completely stunning. The colour, the cut, the attention to detail in the ruffled texture. I adore it. It's hard to believe the stonkingly beautiful Mila was most famous for being the voice of Meg in Family Guy up until very recently! She's been on a fashion roll recently too - I can't wait to see what she pulls out of her closet for the rest of the season.

Honourable mentions to some others too. As ever the big boys of bespoke - Armani Prive and Atelier Versace - had great nights. In team Armani, we have Anne Hathaway in gorgeous, backless, bronze sequins and Megan Fox in subtle sparkles. Team Versace is represented by a jaw droppingly hot January Jones in gravity defying red fringing and Angelina Jolie rocking the emerald trend in floor length, long sleeved sequins. I also loved Scarlett Johansen in beautiful, delicate Elie Saab and Olivia Wilde looking like a princess in Marchesa. 

I'm loving the trends emerging from the globes - SEQUINS! EMERALD! LONG SLEEVES! FRINGING! BARELY THERE MAKE UP! - and seriously hope they continue through awards season. There's one way to find out I suppose...

The best Strictly routine ever

Yes alright I know. It's been a while. But I've been busy. Well, I say 'busy'. I mean 'on trains'. Lots of trains to lots of regional conferences on lots of Saturdays. The upshot of which is that I've not had a great deal of free time that I've not already allocated to sleeping. So apologies for that. I'll try harder.

Anyway, I've been a bit out of the loop Strictly-wise. As I say I've been travelling a lot, usually on Saturday evenings so I've fallen out of step with the series overall. I have, of course, been keeping up to date with developments from Team Annton though. And my haven't there been developments.

Firstly, I'd like us all to spend a moment thinking about the majesty of the gold sequin trousers. I mean really. They were a thing, weren't they? Love or hate - and I don't feel I need to tell you which camp I'm in! - you can't deny that there are very very few men who would have the cajones to even try them on, let alone actually get away with them. The photo, by the way, is a newspaper clipping that's now gracing our fridge door.

Anyway, sartorial amazingness aside - and I can't help but feel that this series has been a cracker for La Du Beke in that regard both in terms of costumes and the lessons in how men should dress he's been giving on It Takes Two - I suppose I should mention dancing at some point. I'm glad to see Anton and Erin have returned to regular pro dance slots now. And they've been good ones, none of this dubious 'unleashed' nonsense.

But the main thing I wanted to draw your attention to is the brilliance of the Titanic themed rumba routine from last week. I'm not going to mince my words: it's my favourite Strictly routine ever. I may take some heat for this from the 'it's a dance contest' crowd but I believe my general disdain for that crowd is well known, so I don't care. In terms of pure entertainment value - which is what the show is about of course - you can't match it. From the manic shout of 'ICEBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERG' at the beginning, through the slightly perturbed look as the Widdy embrace is locked in, to the foghorn sound effect at the end the whole routine is just genius. Serious kudos to Anton for this. The man is proving to be a comedy genius, which isn't a surprise to anyone who's seen him on tour. Can you really imagine any of the other pros doing something that's so blatantly just a bit of fun? I could go on at length about this I love it so much. So here it is for your viewing pleasure, but mostly mine.



You can thank me later.

My dream Strictly line up

I've literally been writing this post for weeks. Well not literally, my typing is bad but it's not that bad. But I've been thinking about it, making notes about it, for weeks. What can I say? I spend a lot of time on trains. And I'm quite fabulously geeky about Strictly stuff. I'm sure you'd not noticed that.

I've finally been prompted to sit down and physically write it by a discussion on Twitter about exactly this issue started by the lovely people at Our Warner (them of the Strictly experience mini breaks that I will one day go on). They've blogged about it on their site too - and we share some celeb choices. 

So below you'll find my dream line up of celebs and which pros they'd be paired with. I've brought back one of my favourite pros too. Now I should say, before the pedantry army start, I've taken very little account of practical considerations like height. It's a dream, don't rain on my hot and well dressed parade. Oh, and it surely goes without saying that part of any dream Strictly line up is removing Alesha and bringing back Arlene. It certainly is in mine. Anyway, onwards...

Rupert Everett and Aliona Vilani - I adore Rupert Everett, and his particular brand of fabulously uncensored slightly camp antics would be perfect for Strictly. I've put him with Aliona because they would look achingly good together. Just imagine their tango...

Michelle Obama and Anton Du Beke - This makes me swoon. A lot. Seriously, how good would this be? Thinking about how graceful their ballroom would be gives me goosebumps. And how cool would it be seeing Barack in the audience?! Anton might even finally win. Stranger things have happened!

Hayley Williams (Paramore) and Artem Chigvintsev - I wanted someone with serious attitude to dance with Artem and I can think of few people with more attitude than Paramore's Hayley. She would clearly have serious musicality too. Their fiery paso would be one to watch.

Victoria Coren and Brendan Cole - Victoria Coren is one of my idols. I love her. Watching her and Brendan working together would be amazing, she would definitely be in charge. How good she'd be at dancing remains to be seen but she'd be hilarious regardless. And it would make a lot of my straight male friends very happy indeed...

Judi Dench and Darren Bennett - How cute would this be? Darren is the only one of the 'axed' pros I really miss and Judi Dench is a bona fide national treasure. Given her background in musical theatre I reckon she's got some moves too.

Peter Mandleson and Erin Boag - Ok, so this might be a bit of a Marmite choice. But I love The Dark Lord. He's a complete legend, and the best in the world at what he does. He had dancing lessons as a youngster and has said he wants to do Strictly. So let's see him in action. I'd love to see how he reacted to Erin being in charge too!

Gino D'Acampo and Flavia Cacace - Again with the cuteness. I can imagine the lovely Gino absolutely owning the Latin dances. Ballroom not so much. His hyper back and forth with the judges (especially Bruno) would be worth the license fee alone.

Miranda Hart and James Jordan - As a pairing I think these two would be hilarious. And even if they weren't Miranda on her own would be. She's also an obsessive Strictly fan so would work really hard. I would love to see their charleston. It would have the potential to be even funnier than Ann and Anton's. If that is indeed possible.

Bonnie Wright (Ginny Weasley) and Jared Murillo - I was toying with the idea of giving Jared some kind of kinky Mrs Robinson-esque figure but just couldn't do it. I loved how cute he and Tina were this year and he and Bonnie would offer more of the same. Plus I'm borderline obsessed with her amazing hair.

Jose Mourinho and Katya Virshilas - One word: hot. Frankly having Anton and Jose in one place at the same time is amazing enough on its own. Having them dancing... Wow. The image of Jose doing a properly hot and dirty paso with Katya is beyond gorgeous. And she's proved she can deal with sportsmen with huge egos this series so I'm sure she could cope with The Special One.

John Morrison (WWE) and Kristina Rihanoff - Anton, Jose and JoMo in one room? I'm spoiling myself. JoMo is astonishingly attractive and can move his body in ways which I still can't believe are even physically possible. Their Latin would be beyond hot and their show dance would just be AMAZE, as the kids are saying. I think JoMo would be the pioneer of the topless quickstep on Strictly. And I approve of this.

Tim Gunn (Project Runway) and Natalie Lowe - I appreciate this is a bit obscure for anyone who hasn't watched Sky 1 during the day recently/isn't American. Tim is an unashamedly camp fashionista with an eye for a trend and a collection of sharp suits that would make Anton green with envy. I reckon he has moves based on no evidence whatsoever. He would absolutely rock his costumes though (he'd probably make some of them himself) and be able to offer the other contestants tips on good dressing and etiquette. 

David Beckham and Ola Jordan - Becks would have moves. He is gorgeous. He is well dressed. What's not to like? I reckon he'd be especially good at the ballroom too, which works for me. He might miss his wife though...

Victoria Beckham and Robin Windsor - ...so she's in too. Perhaps controversially, I love Victoria. Mostly because her fashion line is unexpectedly completely brilliant. I'd want her to design her own costumes. She has a background in theatre (waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back in the day) so would be pretty good I think. Plus her and Robin would look yummy together. 

Kim Catrall and Vincent Simone - I've included this match up purely because I do love watching people flirt outrageously. Kim would look amazing on the dancefloor and can you imagine the smile on Vincent's face when he was dancing with her?

There you go. I'm now salivating slightly at the thought of so much hot - and so many well cut suits - on one dancefloor. Anyone at the BBC care to oblige me? Thought not. 

Strictly Week 6: in which my gears get grinded

You may have noticed that I've stopped doing weekly Strictly reviews. The reason for this is two-fold: 1) I'm so busy with work at the weekends that I'm not even watching (all of) the show some weeks, 2) I don't really enjoy writing the detailed reviews, they take forever and according to my statporn comparatively few people actually read them. So they're gone. For now at least. I'll probably change my mind. I do that.

But that doesn't mean I've stopped blogging about Strictly. Hell no! And this week, I'm annoyed. There are several reasons for this. The biggie (which perhaps you can guess) I'll come to in a bit, but there are a few other things that are grinding my gears.

Now this is a tiny thing that most people won't care about, but I am a music geek and I do. Brendan and Michelle (who I thought was much better this week than she's been, and was dancing something other than the Time Warp) purported to be dancing a waltz. Well, they weren't. The song was in 4/4, a waltz is in 3/4. That angered me. But as I said, I guess most of you won't care about that so I'll move on.

The thing that really wound me up this week was the judges. I mean really. What even?! When they weren't being rude and insulting and generally acting like children with each other, they were being rude and insulting and giving ridiculously inconsistent marks to the contestants. If we're supposed to take their opinions and scores in any way seriously perhaps they might want to have a look at what they're actually saying. Of course, that's not really why they're there but still.

So we come to the thing that's winding me up big time this week: Widdygate. Perhaps it won't surprise you to learn that I adored Ann and Anton's charleston this week. I can't remember the last time I laughed so much at something on TV, though I rather suspect it was when I saw their salsa. It was a couple of minutes of genuine entertainment, what Saturday night TV is all about.

But, as I've said before, some people take Strictly far too seriously. These people think Ann is ruining a dancing competition and should quit the show if she's not eliminated. And then Jimi Mistry got eliminated from the show and these people went into overdrive. Now I'm not saying for a moment that I think Jimi should have gone - he clearly shouldn't - but the fact he did is not Ann's fault. Nor is it anyone else's on the show. Jimi went because people didn't vote for him. Why should other people be at fault because people did vote for them?

At this point I'm going to shut up. I find this debate completely infuriating. To define Strictly as a dancing competition is to completely misunderstand it. If the BBC wanted a flagship Saturday night dancing competition then they'd have brought back Come Dancing in its original form. If it was only about the dancing then why have celebrities in it at all? I genuinely don't understand how people can't see this and it drives me mad.

You see, I'm getting ranty and overexcited. It's not good for me. So I'm going to defer to other people.

Brendan Cole was in the bottom two - again - on Saturday night. Does he think Ann is devaluing the show and should quit? Of course he doesn't. Here's what he tweeted last night:

"Ann & Anton deserve their place in the show! The public are keeping them in & the papers need to stop the nonsense! Not fair to them! As contestants on SCD, it's our job to inspire the audience to vote for us! If we fail to do so, we run the risk of going home! If others succeed then their place is very much valid on the show! We can't blame the couple that get the vote over us, only ourselves!"

Apart from an overuse of exclamation marks, the man speaks the sense. Or rather, the sense! As does The Telegraph's Michael Deacon, writing on his blog yesterday:

"If anybody thinks the continued presence of a leaden-footed rhythm-phobe like Widdecombe “devalues” the show as a “dance competition”, they should seek urgent psychiatric assistance. Strictly Come Dancing can’t be devalued as a dance competition, because it has no value as a dance competition. Never has had, and was never meant to have. If this were a serious dance competition, why would there be celebrities competing at all? 

My own view, innocent though it may seem, is that if the BBC had intended Strictly to be a serious dancing competition, they would have ensured that all the competitors were professional dancers. By instead hiring celebrities, I would argue, the BBC sent out a reasonably clear signal that the programme is intended to be light entertainment.

If people insist on voting for Widdecombe to remain, they presumably think that watching her after all these weeks is still funny. They may be deluded, but not quite as deluded as those who think those voters’ actions are harming the programme’s reputation."

I don't usually agree with The Telegraph, but this had me jumping up and down shouting 'YES! EXACTLY!' at my laptop when I read it this morning. And I'm not a jumping up and down sort of person. I'm usually quite anti-jumping in fact.

Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go and oil my grindy gears. Probably by looking at photos of Anton. Probably topless. Om. Nom. Nom.

 

On-off non-exclusive romance?

This blog post represents something very rare: outside of a drinking game related situation, me talking about my private life. It's not something I do often. I don't think it's any of anyone else's business but mine. Besides, as you'll see, it's kind of complicated...

So why now? Mostly you can blame Stephen Fry. His ill judged comments - however misquoted - about how women don't enjoy sex and only do it to somehow trap men into a relationship made me quite indescribably annoyed. They were so ignorant and so spectacularly wrong it was almost physically painful. Not quite as painful as reading Yasmin Alabi Brown's response, which compared Fry to a wife beater, in today's i though. My disdain for YHB aside, Fry's comments did get me thinking about the nature of relationships and sex for women today.

The other thing that's inspired this post happened to me in W H Smith today. I was buying a Christmas card for The Bloke. One of those needlessly soppy World's Best Boyfriend things, you know the type. Whilst paying I was making small talk with the cashier, as you do. She asked me how long we'd been together, how we met etc etc. The conversation was amiable, to the extent that these things ever are, until I mentioned one detail about my relationship with The Bloke which killed the conversation completely. It's a detail that isn't important to us in any way but seemingly the rest of the world thinks it's amazing.

You see, we're not an exclusive couple. We've been together for five years, on and off, having been introduced by a mutual friend after an eyes across a crowded conference bar moment at Lib Dem spring conference when I was still at Uni. We've been an item ever since and, mostly, very happily so. So why does the fact that we both see other people sometimes matter?

Frankly, it doesn't. Not to us. I know he loves me and I love him. We have our ups and downs, as anyone who follows me on Twitter will have seen recently, like any other couple. But the stuff we argue about is the same stuff everyone else argues about - him not answering his phone, the amount I spend on clothes, how little we see each other.

We don't do jealousy. I know he's sleeping with another woman but it doesn't bother me. I leave my Facebook relationship status as single but it doesn't bother him. Why? Because when we're together it's all about us. He treats me like a princess and, though I say it myself, I'm one of the best girlfriends ever! We're one of those irritatingly couple-y couples, unashamedly so. He's the most loving person I could hope to be with but for reasons of geography and employment I can't be with him as much as I want to be. That's hard on both of us, so we don't begrudge each other getting close to other people. Amongst those who know what we're like as a couple we're renowned for being an extremely happy, adult and functional couple. Because that's what we are.

Maybe you think that's disgusting (although what right do you have to judge me?) or
representative of a lack of self confidence/respect from one or both us (it isn't). I really don't care. At the end of the day we're very happy exactly as we are.

There's one other reason, I think, why we are so contented at the moment. Both of us know that we're not going to last forever. I should explain that there's a significant age gap between me and The Bloke. When it comes to the whole marriage and kids thing he's been there, done that, got the t shirt and doesn't want to go back. I've never been there, and I do want to go. We both know that eventually I'll meet the person that I'll spend the rest of my life with and that will be that. I think this realism is incredibly healthy. We know we ultimately want different things in life and are facing up to it rather than trying to bury the fact and pretend it's not going to cause problems down the line. The Bloke and I will split up, but when we do it will be on good terms and I'm sure we'll remain close friends.

In the meantime my on-off non-exclusive romance makes me very happy indeed. And when Anton finally turns up at my door to sweep me off my feet, I'll be able to welcome him with open arms without a twinge of guilt. Why are you laughing?! Hey, a girl can dream!

Love Never Dies: worth missing Strictly, Anton and Flying Widdy for?

A few years back I read a great op ed in The Independent by Janet Street Porter. It was about how she really wasn't cool. To prove this she admitted she liked the two things it is just unacceptable to admit to liking in Britain: Wagon Wheels and Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals. Janet, I sympathise. Wagon Wheels are lush, especially the extra jam ones. And Andrew Lloyd Webber has written some of the most startlingly good musicals ever.

Now this is not to say that I think everything ALW does is brilliant. Because it isn't. Woman in White, for example, was cleverly staged with a good cast but musically awful. Bombay Dreams was just terrible. And I don't get Cats. It gave us Elaine Paige, for which I'll never forgive it.

On the other hand ALW has produced some works of genius. From big boys Joseph, Evita, Phantom and Jesus Christ Superstar to the criminally underrated Aspects of Love, Whistle Down the Wind, Tell Me on a Sunday and By Jeeves the man knows his stuff.

I have to confess, though, when I heard he'd decided to write a sequel to Phantom of the Opera my heart sank a little. I, like pretty much everyone else in the universe, was convinced it would join the Woman in White axis of awful. But then it started previews and the reviews - shock horror - weren't all bad. There was particular excitement about the show's star - the fabulously named Ramin Karimloo. I was intrigued, and when an opportunity to see the show for myself arose I jumped at the chance.

Actually that's a lie. You see, going to the show meant missing Strictly. Specifically it meant missing Ann and Anton's tango. Even more specifically it meant missing Ann flying. I was stroppy about this. So the attitude I went into the theatre with was 'this better be bloody good'.

And you know what? It damn well was. 


You must go and see this show if you have the chance. You just must. It is amazing, romantic, dramatic, beautiful; ALW at his very very best. I'm not going to give any spoilers - because as I said you must go and see it - but the show takes up 10 years after the original Phantom ended. The eponymous anti-hero is now running a freakshow come vaudeville theatre in Coney Island, NYC, with Madame Giry and her daughter Meg. He's still in love with Christine Daae and successfully contrives to get her to come to Coney to sing for him one last time. She brings husband Raoul (who suffice it to say is not the virtuous young gentleman he was) and son Gustave with her. And, well, I suppose a spoiler free way to describe the rest of the show is all hell breaks loose in an entertaining, musically superb, atmospheric and, ultimately, tragic way.

I really don't want to give anything away about the plot or the music - which is the best that ALW's written for a very long time - in this show, but I will say a few things. There are some standout songs in this score, notably Til I Hear You Sing, The Beauty Underneath (the best song ALW has ever written? Certainly the most ambitious), Devil Take the Hindmost and the title track. The plot hangs together with an amount of credibility very uncommon for a musical, and the ending is in turn genuinely shocking and completely, utterly heartbreaking. I've never been in a theatre audience that simultaneously bursts into tears in the way the LND audience did. The staging, too, is magnificent. There's a lot of clever borrowing of the bits that worked from Woman in White here; indeed in the first scene I couldn't tell which bits of the set were real and which were computer generated.

And then there's Ramin Karimloo who, it turns out, is not just fabulously named but fabulous all round. He has the sort of stage presence that demands attention from the moment he appears. The Phantom is a big part that it would be easy to get swallowed by, but he doesn't. His Phantom is completely his own creation and all the better for it. He has a range and depth that most 'straight' actors, let alone musical ones, would give their right arm for. And his voice. THAT voice. His voice is perfect. Literally perfect. The only voice that has ever made my whole body tingle and every hair stand on hair. Quite simply, he is a superstar. The best actor I have ever seen in the West End. If you think I'm exaggerating, go and see the show. I defy you to reach any other conclusion.

So, is Love Never Dies worth missing Strictly, Anton and Flying Widdy for? Yes it is. Every time.

Lanvin Hearts H&M

I do love a good designer-highstreet diffusion line. And in recent years there have been some brilliant ones. Gold by Giles Deacon for New Look, Pierre Hardy for Gap and - more surprisingly, to me anyway - Kate Moss for Topshop have all been completely brilliant.

But when it comes to the diffusion, H&M is King. Their list of collaborations reads like a who's who of the recent fashion A-List. Karl Lagerfeld, Stella McCartney, Viktor and Rolf, Roberto Cavalli, Comme des Garcons, Matthew Williamson, Jimmy Choo (my personal favourite) and Sonia Rykiel have all designed a line for them, as well as ranges by Madonna (surprisingly good) and Kylie Minogue (less so). So it comes as no surprise that the most exciting diffusion line EVER is coming from them.

Lanvin. Beautiful Lanvin. Beautiful, genius Lanvin. If I could only wear one brand for the rest of my life it would be Lanvin. Everything they make from their gorgeous shoes to their perfectly cut, obscenely flattering dresses is pretty much perfection. When I heard they were doing a diffusion line for H&M I nearly died of excitement.

And then this week the photos started to leak. Oh the photos. Stunning LBDs with immaculate detailing, gorgeous bags, beautiful jewellery, and bang on trend sunglasses. Loads of fashion blogs have got the photos, but the best coverage - complete with very affordable price list - is at Vogue. Obvs. I want it all, and I want it now.

Sadly, I'll have to wait. The full range is launched on November the 2nd with an exclusive video on the H&M website. It then makes its way into 200 H&M stores on November 23rd. Which, conveniently, is one of my lieu days off from work.

So if you need me on November 23rd, you know where I'll be...